Did Mitchell Tag Obama?

The "Mitchell Report" was released today--detailing the former senator's findings on the use of banned substances in Major League Baseball. 86 players with 109 All-Star selections amongst them were named in the report. This report held no punches--they even named my favorite pitcher of all-time Roger Clemens in the report. Thankfully that mistake was cleared up by Roger's attorney!

What does this report actually mean for the game of baseball? Likely, the report doesn't mean much...certainly not in the way of punishment of the players named. Even Mitchell urged restraint on the part of MLB Commissioner Bud Selig when he essentially suggested that no punishments should be handed out on the basis of his report. (Which makes you question how much he stands behind his report.) In any case, while sports outlets such as ESPN attempt to make this the biggest story in sports (possibly history), it likely doesn't mean much to the everyday fan. I'm sorry but I don't think Joe Schmoe, the real estate agent from St. Louis is going to give up his Cardinals season tickets because a former pitcher, turned sudden power-hitter, Rick Ankiel, was named as a potential "banned substance" user in the "Mitchell Report".

From the fans perspective, not much has changed. From the leagues perspective, not much has changed. The fans have had a while now to get used to the idea that their once "Jack and the Beanstock" heroes of the diamond who magically turned into Mark McGwire (oops, I meant Paul Bunyan) overnight, may not be doing so, "banned substance" free. The league for their part has made every effort to fight the good fight (and by fight I mean--do absolutely nothing worthwhile) with their toothless policies and empty rhetoric. I believe the most severely punished MLB player to-date is Neifi Perez--the journeyman infielder, best known in my book as "the guy who made the amazing play at short to save Verlander's no-hitter". But rest assured- they caught Neifi and his name is in the "Report" and they're checking that list twice, finding out who is naughty and nice and sending it on to Santa.

The bottom line of this whole debacle is that once again, the serious part of sports--the actual hands-on, minutiae has been turned into a national spectacle with flashing bulbs and bold print, but at the end of the day--no substance. It is time for MLB to hang up their spikes in the fight against "banned substances". Sure, Bud says that the report is a call to action...but really Bud? You needed a report to tell you that action was needed? How about the sudden spike in home run numbers? Was that the result of "banned substances" in the balls themselves? Surely there is another retired Northeaster Senator to whom we can give the issue and have him issue a report!

The "Report" is nonsense. I don't care about the report or what it says about who was cheating when with whom or with what. A few years ago, during spring training, MLB conducted random testing and found well over a hundred players using "banned substances" and this report names only 86. Many of the players named are retired and certainly almost none of those named will face any consequences. Sure, there will be more testing, perhaps even stricter testing. But if history has alerted us to anything, it is that only the Neifi Perez's of the world will get caught by the testing because--they can't afford the good stuff. The drugs will stay ahead of the tests because players care more about getting ahead than the league cares about getting rid of the use of these substances.

Oh well! The "Report" makes us feel good. Something is being done about this horrible example to our children. Selig says that we are cleaning up the sport. And while that remains very unlikely Bud, at least we've cleared up that whole Lenny Dykstra thing.

NEXT UP: Should Senator Obama have been named in the "Mitchell Report"? Hillary's [former] campaign co-chair Bill Shaheen weighs in.



Listening to: "Don't Drive Away" by Gratitude